Mii Oh My

Just when I think the Germans have the market cornered on quirkiness, something comes along that makes me remember that one country’s fetish is another country’s fun. Case in point: Japan.

Last year, Kyoto’s video game giant, Nintendo, released an “amazing virtual pee experience” for their wildly popular Wii gaming console. The game, called Super Pii Pii Brothers, requires the participant to strap-on a Wii controller and whiz their way to points by soaking targets in on-screen toilets. Players control the flow by twisting their torso and gyrating their hips. Sounds super fun! With “amazingly realistic pee fluid dynamics”, 100 different “peeing environments”, multiple toilet & urinal styles and a competitive “dueling pee stream mode”, what more could you ask for in a video game? Japanese school girls are reportedly lining up in droves to take a swing with the new thing. They say it can’t be beat.

OK, confession: that game was made up, but not by me. It was done as last year’s April Fool’s Day joke by the Internet culture web site, Think Geek. (Check out today’s “Squeeze Bacon”.) I just ran across it for the first time the other day though and totally fell for it. The Japanese put out some weird stuff, especially technology wise, so I hardly questioned it. But, when I found out it was a gag, I did feel bad for the disgruntled gals that wouldn’t get to experience the “first time pleasure of urinating while standing” that the fake Super Pii Pii Brother’s box promised.

If you were feeling the same way, don't worry! All is not lost my gal-pals! And don’t be ashamed either; urinating while standing truly is a pleasure. So, for you, I pose the P-Mate! A “portable urinating device that allows women to urinate standing up wherever and whenever they need to, without losing their dignity.” Handy.

And if poise and decorum isn’t your thing, I offer you the Shenis. Sounds like “penis” and looks like a 12 inch long, gold colored, hard plastic penis. But it's not. It's a 12 inch long, gold colored, hard plastic “urinary director” that's shaped like a penis. I only wish this was a joke. Happy April 1 nonetheless.