No For An Answer

"Do, or do not. There is no try." I heard someone use this geeky Star Wars quote on the radio last week. Yoda voice and all. It caught my attention because I recently adopted a similarly geeky saying: "If the answer isn't yes, then it's no." It just helps everyone I communicate with. It's annoying to not get an answer. "OK, sure, that's good. Or we could...how about...maybe we should...but..." Uhg. Why's it so hard to say "no"? And if I don't really mean no, then how about: "Yes, I'd really like that". It's great to hear something like that. "Sure, I certainly can do that for you today." It's too bad I'm usually surprised by a response like that. "Umm, yeah, that sounds...'OK'". That really means "no" and we all know it.

This is another of my new life enhancements: Give honest responses to the people I'm talking with. Oh! And not be afraid to commit to an answer. That's a big part of why I hesitate and not answer honestly. I'm finding, however, it's harder to do than expected.

I think we, as message "senders" and "receivers" tend to miss things when we're trying to interpret a message. It's not one person's fault either. We have to interpret the message were getting. But things can actually get lost in translation. Or, we add things during the translation that the sender didn't intend. I might insert what I think the sender is "really" trying to say. Then I sometimes overreact to what I'm hearing. That's just as wrong. Either way, the message gets mucked up. And that can cause confusion with family, friends, co-workers, whomever we're communicating with. We need to make ourselves understood, but people need to hear the point we are conveying. If the answer isn't "yes", then it's "no". I know it's a little more complicated than that, but it's something I can repeat to myself when I'm in the middle of an interaction; whether I'm the speaker or the listener. I think it's helping. Although I've been saying it out loud to my wife and I think she's getting a little annoyed with it.

(PS: Reminds me of my 80's hardcore days.)