Our big fishing trip resulted in very few fish and, since we are bass fishing experts, I’m blaming the weather. I have to admit though, this was not just the biggest body of water I’ve ever tried to fish, but rivers are made up a lot differently than lakes and I’m used to lake patterns. There was a steep learning curve. However, we dealt with pretty severe weather conditions the first two days. Rain on the first day, and then wind and rain and then more rain and wind. Saturday was pretty much a wash. The swells on the main lake were at least 2 feet high. We were in a little aluminum fishing boat mind you, so we were getting tossed around pretty good. Todd spent most of Saturday trying to keep the boat afloat and that meant not much fishing. I felt guilty, but if he was having such a hard time with it, I’m pretty sure we would have ended up on some homeowner’s lawn or underneath some boatowner’s dock had I taken the helm. After two days, Todd almost fell into the drink once, I ripped a rubber frog out of a tree and almost into Todd’s heart, we just missed backing into two dudes in a canoe, Todd almost sent me overboard after gunning the motor to stop us from hitting the dudes in the canoe, we narrowly missed crashing into a moored pontoon, came as close to you can get (in my opinion) to capsizing in the open water after…actually, I don’t even know what happened the first time. I just felt myself get pitched into the air with the bow of the boat as I’m watching the back of the craft go straight down as water rushed into the left corner up to Todd’s hand that was gripping the gunwale like a vice. Thankfully, we landed upright, scared as all get out but upright, and we motored on. Only 5 fish between us so far. Day 3, our half day, was calm and beautiful and, with just two hours before we had to head home, we locked onto the bass just like we had planned to be doing the whole time. Then, on our last trip back to the dock, we were again almost overturned by a super-dick driving his family in a big cabin cruiser who apparently didn't see us. His wife and rest of family did though. They were all laughing until we actually hit their wake.
That’s fishing. Some things you can control, some you can’t. We were both grumpy a few times, but we made the most of it and still had a great time together on the water. We even started on plans for next year’s trip. And first on that list is not staying at the same campsite. That was, for sure, the low point of our adventure. The sign out front said “Resort”; what a joke. We get there on Fri. night, ready for a little R&R after a long day of fishing in the rain, to find our site occupied by other tenants. This was out of the 2 tent sites “on the hill”. It was a beautiful spot overlooking the rolling hills of the Wisconsin River Valley with rows of corrugated steel storage facilities below that and 3 holding ponds that looked like bars on a cell phone and obviously man-made before that. Sewage treatment maybe? The trailers started at the banks of the sewage treatment ponds. Todd had gotten there that morning and checked us in. When we met at the dock, he called the place “interesting”. Todd is the king of understatements, so I should have been worried then. Everyone except us and the strange couple who stole our site with the kid and another adult female, was in a rental “cabin” or a trailer. We make arrangements to move to the other site; the nice small one, with all the rocks, across the road from the bathroom. Whatever, we were just there to crash and that was it. We woke up bleary eyed and unrested but our excitement for the day was such a motivator we were out by 5:30. Little did we know Mother Nature had other plans. The next night, we return tired, soaked and sore, to a barren camp site. Everything was gone. We find our tent broken down, in a wet pile on our original, but recently vacated lot. We marched down to the office, asked for the manager and were told he did it “for us”. Manager guy, who looked just like the pock marked leader of the Scorpions in Grease except shorter and not cool at all, says: “I did that. Those storms were so bad, when the wind came ripping up the hill it pulled your tent up and sent it tumbling across the road.” Then he adds: “It almost hit me in the head!” I was like, my-ass, jackass! First off, it was staked down. Second, how likely is it that this guy was standing in the middle of this one road, in the middle of this violent thunderstorm, just as the wind ravaged our tent and sent it flying into the air directly at him? What-ever guy! Not likely at all. But he was saying it like: “You’re lucky I was there and you’re lucky I’m not gonna sue you after your tent caused me emotional distress.” It was already dark and we still had to set up camp, again, so I had to let it go and get the heck out of Dodge.
That cat was just one of the residents of this fine “resort”. To give you a better idea what the rest of the bunch was like, let me present to you some of the pearls we heard freely flowing from the mouths of our neighboring trailerparkers. All but one were between the hours of 11pm and 1:30am.
Top 5 Things Overheard While Hiding In My Tent At The Trailer Park in Lodi, WI:
That’s fishing. Some things you can control, some you can’t. We were both grumpy a few times, but we made the most of it and still had a great time together on the water. We even started on plans for next year’s trip. And first on that list is not staying at the same campsite. That was, for sure, the low point of our adventure. The sign out front said “Resort”; what a joke. We get there on Fri. night, ready for a little R&R after a long day of fishing in the rain, to find our site occupied by other tenants. This was out of the 2 tent sites “on the hill”. It was a beautiful spot overlooking the rolling hills of the Wisconsin River Valley with rows of corrugated steel storage facilities below that and 3 holding ponds that looked like bars on a cell phone and obviously man-made before that. Sewage treatment maybe? The trailers started at the banks of the sewage treatment ponds. Todd had gotten there that morning and checked us in. When we met at the dock, he called the place “interesting”. Todd is the king of understatements, so I should have been worried then. Everyone except us and the strange couple who stole our site with the kid and another adult female, was in a rental “cabin” or a trailer. We make arrangements to move to the other site; the nice small one, with all the rocks, across the road from the bathroom. Whatever, we were just there to crash and that was it. We woke up bleary eyed and unrested but our excitement for the day was such a motivator we were out by 5:30. Little did we know Mother Nature had other plans. The next night, we return tired, soaked and sore, to a barren camp site. Everything was gone. We find our tent broken down, in a wet pile on our original, but recently vacated lot. We marched down to the office, asked for the manager and were told he did it “for us”. Manager guy, who looked just like the pock marked leader of the Scorpions in Grease except shorter and not cool at all, says: “I did that. Those storms were so bad, when the wind came ripping up the hill it pulled your tent up and sent it tumbling across the road.” Then he adds: “It almost hit me in the head!” I was like, my-ass, jackass! First off, it was staked down. Second, how likely is it that this guy was standing in the middle of this one road, in the middle of this violent thunderstorm, just as the wind ravaged our tent and sent it flying into the air directly at him? What-ever guy! Not likely at all. But he was saying it like: “You’re lucky I was there and you’re lucky I’m not gonna sue you after your tent caused me emotional distress.” It was already dark and we still had to set up camp, again, so I had to let it go and get the heck out of Dodge.
That cat was just one of the residents of this fine “resort”. To give you a better idea what the rest of the bunch was like, let me present to you some of the pearls we heard freely flowing from the mouths of our neighboring trailerparkers. All but one were between the hours of 11pm and 1:30am.
Top 5 Things Overheard While Hiding In My Tent At The Trailer Park in Lodi, WI:
1: "You Fu*king HOOOOOAR!"
2: "He peed all over my hand!"
3: "Noooooooo! Stop Him!"
4: "Oh, I made some Meatloaf Salad."
5: I'M JUST GETTING MY CIGARETTES AND MY RUMPLEMINTZ!!!"
That last gem was from the not so dainty gal in the cabin next to us as she toppled out of the golf cart she crashed into their lot in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I honestly feared she, and the two chumps she picked up at the bar that night, were going to careen into our tent as they sped off into the dark towards whatever escapades they had in store. We were up even earlier on Sunday. We packed up the wet gear and sped off towards daylight and the boat dock. Good riddance to bad trash.
That place was a hot mess. But my buddy said something later, after we were home with our respective families, that made all this not such a big deal. "I had a blast" he said. And you know, I didn't even have to think about it...he was so right. Despite the crazy campers, I had a blast too. I had a wonderful, exciting, rejuvenating, guy's weekend of a trip and I am thankful. You are so right my man; we did have a blast. Thank you for reminding me. Next year, we just need to catch a few more bass!
That place was a hot mess. But my buddy said something later, after we were home with our respective families, that made all this not such a big deal. "I had a blast" he said. And you know, I didn't even have to think about it...he was so right. Despite the crazy campers, I had a blast too. I had a wonderful, exciting, rejuvenating, guy's weekend of a trip and I am thankful. You are so right my man; we did have a blast. Thank you for reminding me. Next year, we just need to catch a few more bass!
