Aftertaste

Meet Donald J. Wolfe. He’s 55, from Brookville, PA. and enjoys driving drunk, animals & sorcery. I’m gonna guess he’s single, but do know he was arrested this week, just north of Punxutawney, after a State Trooper watched him attempt to enliven a roadkill with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Several people saw Mr. Wolfe stop his car, on Route 36, after catching sight of the crushed creature. Onlookers report that the opossum was squashed and had obviously met its demise days before he discovered it. But Mr. Wolfe got out, knelt down on the road and proceeded to perform a service of sorts while making “séance motions with his arms”. When his hocus-pocus did not provide to revive, he tried more traditional tactics and placed his mouth “on or about the location of” the mouth of the breathless beast. It sounds like this is about the point the cops stepped in and stopped the show. The possum, also from PA, declined to file charges, because it was a dead possum, but police arrested DJ for public drunkenness...and being creepy & disgusting.

I was talking to someone just  last week about all the possum roadkills I’ve seen here this Spring. Not once did I feel an urge to lick one though. Opossum carry diseases such as leptospirosis, tuberculosis, relapsing fever, tularemia, spotted fever, toxoplasmosis, coccidiosis, trichomoniasis and Chagas disease. They may be infested with fleas, ticks, mites & lice and are also often hosts for cat & dog fleas; especially in urban environments.

If you do have a taste for marsupial, I won't judge. Just please do it the right way and follow B.R. Peterson’s recipe, from the Original Roadkill Cookbook, for Pavement Possum and "bake until crusty."