March 28, 2007

Sunny Side Up

No foul play here. Who's got egg on their face now, Equinox! Although, I must admit, it took a lot longer to do than eggspected. I've got a good yolk for 'ya: Where do you find a chicken with no legs? ...Where you left it.

March 20, 2007

Even Steven

Finally, the Vernal Equinox! From the Latin ver (meaning spring) veraequus (equal) and nox (night). I've been waiting for this day since I saw it on my desk calender about, oh...Monday. Merry Ostara to all the pagans in the hizzle. I trust the Teutonic goddess of spring and the dawn finds you well. Happy Spring to the rest of us!

Ahhh, the first day of spring, total balance. Equal amounts of day and night. It's actually kind of cool. The one day where the sun is directly perpendicular to Earth's axis, hitting our planet at its celestial equator. The sun rises at exact east, lights our world for precisely 12 hours and sets at exact west. Ebony and ivory in perfect harmony. Oh wait, I meant these guys.

And the coolest thing about the Vernal Equinox? It's the one day where you can balance an egg on it's end. That's right. All those school kids you passed squatting in groups on the sidewalk over lunch today weren't burning ants. They were testing the forces of gravity, the wonders of physics and the magical power of the Equinox.

According to Snopes.com, "the Chinese are thought to have originated the practice of standing eggs on end this day. Just as the equinox symbolically restores balance to the world by signalling its rebirth after a season of darkness, the equinox literally balances the day by dividing it into equal portions of darkness and light. If the symbol of fertility (eggs) could be balanced during a day equally divided between day and night, this was the sign that all nature was in harmony."

I like the concept. But in actuality, you can balance an egg on any day of the year. You just need to find the egg's center of gravity, not our world's. It requires considerable patience and determination, but it's do-able. And I think this same equidistant stuff happens again later in the year. We call it the Autumnal Equinox that time around. So enjoy today for what it is, a new day. And know that each one after this, will be a little brighter.

March 06, 2007

Tail Grab

The effects of global warming are unceasing; reaching every corner of our globe and altering daily life in ways I would have never thought. Thank goodness for wake-up calls like this one from Metro.co.uk to keep me abreast of environmental essentials such as this:

Brothel owners in Bulgaria are blaming global warming for staff shortages. They claim their best girls are working in ski resorts because a lack of snow has forced tourists to seek other pleasures. Petra Nestorova, who runs an escort agency in Sofia, said: 'We have hired students, but they are temps and nothing like our elite girls.'

Conceivably, climate change is responsible for poor business in Bulgaria's bordellos. Snow starved vacationists are heading to bunny hills off the mountain. Tsunamis are raging, ice caps are melting, and the head harlots aren't happy their loosing Lev. Understandable. We all know how hard it is to train in temps. Student temps no less. Although, I think the Bulgarians might need to tweak their study abroad program a bit. Does Travelocity let you add "hooker" to you ski vacation package yet? I bet that roaming Gnome knows.

"According to a new U.N. report, the global warming outlook is much worse than originally predicted. Which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet." - Jay Leno